I Choose Me…

Love…A word that I am sure brings about a flurry of emotions or thoughts about its meaning. When it comes to this strong but simply four letter word, I believe I would not be wrong in assuming that in some way we all have had some experiences connected to it that were either good, bad or ugly. Though we may share that commonality amongst each other, the definition of what love means I feel has become lost or constantly changed due to our past experiences, whether it being platonic, romantic or familial. I can attest to this truth, due to there being a time where I considered love to be this uncontrollable feeling that just binds people together. As time went by and I became a lot of wiser, my eyes were opened to truth about love which I feel is important to be remembered and that is it being a choice; a choice that should begin with ourselves. 

Though it can be difficult for some of us to do so based on what we’ve been through in life or the scarcity of certain things within our upbringing, choosing to love who we are is necessary. Reason being is that if we do not and depend on others to do so, we give others the power to define or control who we are more than we think, due to their words or behavior affecting our thoughts of self.

This is how some individuals unfortunately are able to get away with treating good people like trash or easily manipulating them in different dynamics, all due to the love of self being low and they depending on that person to confirm that they are worthy of being loved and treated right. 

The truth is choosing to love-oneself set standards in what we accept and expect from others and ourselves, making the dynamics we allow ourselves to be in a choice as well and not a need. 

In choosing to love ourselves, how do we do so? Here’s four suggestion I hope will help:

  • Self-Discovery
    • Taking to learn about you and the things you enjoy about you outside the opinions of others. It is difficult to expect others to know us we do not truly know ourselves.
  • Treat Yourself 
    • You don’t always have to wait on people to do for you what is in your ability to do for yourself. Take yourself to dinner, the movies or go out to experience new things. 
  • Avoid Comparison
    • When viewing ourselves, it is very easy to see what we lack compared to what others have. Don’t do that! You don’t have to have what others have or be like who they are to be an awesome individual worthy of love. 
  • Appreciate Your Uniqueness 
    • You weren’t created to be like everybody else. Embrace it! The different tastes, quirks, and looks you have is what makes you special. This is to be praised and not hidden. There’s nothing wrong AT ALL with being different. 

Be Blessed,
– Darius B